Imagine that fear is a door: the door of fear. We’re often so afraid of the idea of fear (i.e., the door), that we rarely walk through that door and challenge our fear head-on. Think about all the ways you stop just short of stepping through the door: “I don’t have time,” “I’m not (fill in the blank) enough,” “I can’t,” “I’m too tired,” “What will people think,” “I’m not cut out for that,” etc. The justifications we make are relentless.
Understand that by stopping in front of the door and choosing not to walk through it, we deprive ourselves of a new experience. We deprive ourselves of potentially proving ourselves wrong about the fear. We also deprive ourselves of growing esteem, connection, and upliftment that accompanies successfully and safely stepping out of our comfort zone.
We build mastery by stepping outside of our comfort zone, not by staying within it. Underneath fear (rejection, abandonment, others’ liking you, etc.) is an issue of control.
Our efforts are the only thing in our control. When you are aware of what can be controlled in any situation (i.e., your actions and your efforts), life becomes more empowering and freeing. Instead of trying to change certain circumstances around us (e.g., what someone else thinks of us, their opinions about us), we change how we approach these circumstances. We learn, let go, step up, and willingly move forward: one glorious step at a time. In essence, we get bigger than our fear.